The group of teenagers clustered around, all trying to get a look at the printout. They had found a summoning spell on the internet and were going to try it out. Some were excited, some nervous and some thought it was a really shit idea.

Albakrahoth swam through the universe, feeling good. It felt a faint tug, from that blue and green lump, over there. It turned slightly, aiming for the swirly looking ball.

The gawky teens were trying to make sense of what they had to do. Candles, check. Salt pentagram, check. Freshly killed chicken’s blood in a chalice, check. This was serious business. One of the kids as white and shaking, his religious background fears taking over. He made his excuses and left as the others mocked him. This spell would summon a lesser demon and bind it to their control. Just imagine what they could do with a demon! Awesome.

The spirit creature sped past another brown lump floating around the swirly green and blue one, homing in on the collected energy it could feel. Passing down through the atmosphere, it saw swathes of brown, mountains and deserts before it. A collection of glimmering lights seemed to be where the energy was concentrated.

The babbling youngsters started to read the Latin spell from the A4 printout. It sounded scary. It was suitably dark and foreboding in the abandoned factory they had chosen to summon their supernatural companion. A breeze began to pick up and the temperature dropped. Another of the adolescents fled, white faced and terrorised. Candles flickered as the ominous script was read.

Al did the spirit equivalent of a smirk. What was this? It pulled some leisurely loops above some kind of box on the floor, the energy leaking chaotically from within. It was those pink animals again. Not the first time it had experienced such random, badly handled energy. It concentrated, and reformed as one of the pink animals, appearing behind some kind of metal contraption within the box. A hairless head, it decided, and a nice robe. Yes.

The wind rose, whistling through the dark factory, dust and debris swirling around the group of teenagers. The spell was nearly complete. Their voices rose to combat the elemental noise, chanting the Latin words. Faces were ashen, voices trembling and hands shaking as they said the remaining words.

The reformed spirit walked slowly towards the animals, his hands behind his back, smirking. He greeted them. Several ran away. He asked the remaining ones what they were doing. They said that they were summoning a “demon”. Then asked if it was a demon. It laughed. They screamed. One stood forward and said some gibberish, uncertainly looking at it’s peers for support. It asked what the gibberish meant. They explained that it had to do as they said now.

Albakrahoth shook its head. No, no it explained. Why would it do what these animals wished? They asked if it was going to kill them all. It laughed again. It explained that it wasn’t going to kill them all, and asked them why it would so such a thing. One of the animals fell over and lay on the floor as if asleep. Al moved closer. The animals backed off. It asked the animals what they expected to happen. Was it realistic for them to expect spirit creatures to come when summoned, and then do as they were bid? Al explained how they normally lived outside of time and space, pursuing their own interests (that had nothing to do with a rock full of animals). The pink ones ran out of things to say, and looked at the floor.

Changing his mind, Al killed them all, returned to its ethereal form and continued on its way. The universe was better off without such cretinous creatures, he thought, barrel rolling through space.